Of Loss and Longing
by sahdah
Summary: Ban drinks to forget but it never is enough and only serves to trap him. Rated for language, subject to change.
All the alcohol coursing through his system could never be enough to erase the pain constantly in his heart. If he wasn't fighting there was nothing to distract him from the loss he endured twenty years ago.

The trip to the necropolis had only served to reinforce that. Seeing the cap'n with Elizabeth, even Old Fart with Diane, hell even Master with his left overs was a constant reminder of his loss, Gowther could go fuck himself.

The bar was slowly disappearing as he toppled over off the stool and landed in a heap, Master would most likely take pity on his sorry ass and haul him to his bed sooner or …or….la….ter….

…

"BAN! WAIT!"

 _Elaine? I've got this._ It was that moment that stretched on into forever as he turned to his beloved.

"NOOO!" Her immaculate white dress was marred with deep crimson and a gaping hole. _Holy fuck nooooo! Damnit not her you son of a bitch!_

The fat red demon with its bulging gory body taking the one perfect thing in his life, this was hell on earth. He was trapped and he couldn't wake up. This had happened every time he closed his eyes…there was no escape…regardless of an immortal life with perfect regeneration it could not fix the fucked up images burned into his mind for the eternity to come.

Sobbing choking on his blood he watched her drag herself to him, she promised to drink it herself. Her lips were soft her tongue sweet as she shared herself with him for an instant and then she was giving him the life-saving water he desperately wanted her to have taken.

 _Elaine you fool._

His goddess.

His savior.

Locked away in his mind he held her as he promised her again, "Someday I'll definitely make you _mine._ "

 _Mine._

 _MINE, damnit!_ Why?! Why hadn't he? Seven days and she had kissed him first, last, only. His body heaved with the sobs as he cradled her in his arms. _Damnit!_

Who the hell was he kidding? Seven days and he had thought he had more time. Love is funny that way.

Love….loss….regret…

…

Meliodas walked into the tavern room to find Hawk feasting on scraps lustily.

"Oh…" nom nom nom "This is soo delicious." Mmf….guamp….nom

There really could only be one explanation, looking behind the bar to the galley he found Ban grilling up the breakfast.

"Oi, you're up early."

Ban ran his hand through his wet spiky white hair, "Mornin' can'n. Didn' think anyone else would be waking up so soon."

"No joke, I didn't think you were going to wake up." Meliodas smiled but his heart ached to see the pain that Ban constantly kept buried. It was something he wished he couldn't relate to but he had obliterated Danafor for losing Liz.

"It would take more than that to keep me down, you know that. Here, eat up while it's hot." Ban slid the platter with the eggs and a mug of ale to his best friend. Sitting across from his comrade with his own platter and pint, the trick was to get it just right, not too drunk but it was a tough balancing act somedays.

Gowther walked in and sat next to Meliodas. Ban shuddered, the Goats sin of Lust was easily the most frightening of their group. The doll had absolutely no concept of atmosphere and was prone to divulging anyone's deepest darkest secrets, case in point announcing to the group that Elizabeth was in love with the cap'n.

Ban stared at his best friend. Could he really be so daft an unaware of Elizabeth's feelings, he didn't think so. Most likely there was more to it… _seven days_ …he took a large swig of his ale hoping that the good cap'n wouldn't make the same mistakes he had, and he scowled as he slammed the mug back onto the bar.

"Ban, good grief what'd it do to ya?" King floated in on his sacred treasure in relaxation mode, the giant green pillow.

"Fuck off King." He picked up his platter and dumped it in the wash basin. Gowther was staring intently at him when he turned around, they all were. He was more on edge than he had been in a long time.

Meliodas watched him but remained silent and for whatever reason this pissed him off. Gowther made an attempt to clear his throat, Ban threw the bundled up apron he had been wearing a second before at the doll, "CAN IT FOUR EYES!" Turning he slammed his hands on either side of the captain's platter.

"DAMNIT cap'n don't fuck things up the way I did. Don't you dare take Elizabeth for granted you idiot! You know she's in love with you." With that Ban vaulted the counter and stormed out of the Boar's Hat.

Without anyone else to stop him Gowther pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose. "Is the reason you won't return Elizabeth's affection, because of how much she resembles Liz?"

King fell sideways off Chastifol, "Gowther you idiot! Shut the hell up."

Meliodas pushed the platter away, he would clean up later, he got up and followed after Ban leaving King to gape at Gowther and the latter to look at him innocently, "What?"

The rest of the exchange was lost as the green door shut and he followed Ban's trail through the grass visible because of the disturbance to the morning dew. He came upon the Fox's sin of greed, body heaving in the silent agony he was trying to suppress. And he sat quietly next to the tall flamboyantly dressed man.

When Ban regained his composure the Dragon's sin of wrath clapped him on the shoulder squeezing it tightly.

They sat in silence as the sun came up over the horizon.

"You're the reason we were able to get to the Necropolis."

Ban sat there thinking…yes Elaine had been waiting but wouldn't the captain have had the same connection with…Liz?

"You mean it wasn't Liz and you?"

Meliodas shook his head. "No."

The silence stretched on.

"King said it was Elaine, she freed you from his petrification."

Ban nodded.

He couldn't get his head around it Liz had been Meliodas'.

"She still is…I…can't explain it but Elizabeth embodies her, it's as if Liz no longer exists in the here or there."

The minutes ticked on.

"So you think she has already returned to you? I can't see exactly why with your pervy ways cap'n."

Meliodas grinned. "I wouldn't expect you to understand Ban, I expect it's hard to be pervy when your woman looks like an innocent child-" _crack!_

Ban's fist had connected with the captain's face.

"Whaddya do that for? You know it's the truth. Elizabeth might be younger than Elaine but she has all those womanly curves, the springiness of her breasts."

"You're right, do you think she ever gets creeped out that you look like a boy when she could have a _big_ strong man?"

"If you implying it isn't big, I'll throw down right now Ban."

"Thanks I'll pass." Ban stared out over the horizon. "Maybe it is better that I didn't know, that would only make living in hell that much worse, I suppose."

"Wait? As in, at all?" Meliodas stared off into the distance momentarily lost in thought, Elizabeth moving beneath him…no…that had been Liz… He envied Ban in that moment, his pureness, the fact that he had never seen another woman the way he apparently had never experienced Elaine.

"No you bastard, is that really that hard to believe?" Ban scoffed at him.

"You will Ban, you're going to get her back. I know you, you won't give up."

"Yeah, yeah. We'd better head back no telling when the next Holy Knights will show up hunting Elizabeth down."

The two comrades got up and waked back in the direction of the Boar's Hat, each lost in their own thoughts.

As they made their way back Ban spoke up one last time, "I know you'd give your life for Elizabeth, at least be honest with her…"

"Thanks Ban."

When the Boar's Hat came into view Ban watched as Elizabeth got up from the porch silver hair sparkling in the morning light. "Meliodas-sama, Ban-kun, King-chan said you would be gone for a while. Is everything alright?"

Ban only nodded as he walked past the pair and into the tavern.

Elizabeth turned to Meliodas smiling sadly, "It's so hard for Ban isn't it being so alone, it hurts my heart seeing him like that. Do you think he'll really be able to bring her back?"

"I do, Elizabeth."

Ban watched them through the window. She was holding the captain and for once his expression wasn't one of mischievousness there was a fire in his eyes, any idiot could see that he if he wasn't in love already, he had already started down that path. If anything were to happen to Elizabeth there was no doubt in Ban's mind that it would be a repeat of what happened at Danafor… _Protect her you idiot if anything happens to her none of us will be safe from wrath._


End file.
